In our culture there seems to be a growing amount of care given to self image. Everywhere girls are comparing themselves to actresses and models and trying to be like someone (something) that in most cases is not even real, and if it is real it isn't healthy or normal. Many girls and women look at themselves in the mirror and are embarrassed or disappointed, never being able to accept the way they are. Before you jump to conclusions, I am not going to go off and say that we just need to learn to accept ourselves and then every thing will be alright. A good self image is not about thinking only good thoughts about ourselves. A good self image is a correct self image. As a Christian, my definition of correct must be defined by God through his word. Therefore I want to bring up a few things that we all might need to consider.
1. What does God's word tell us about our self?
The Bible tells us that we are sinners. Sinners can be gloriously redeemed by the blood of Jesus, but the world has been changed by the fall. Before the fall of man that is detailed in Genesis 3, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed (Gen. 2.25), but because of sin, shame entered the world. At the end of chapter three, God gave Adam and his wife clothes to cover their nakedness and remove the feeling of shame. In America we see an increasing amount of skin showing on girls and women of all ages. Bikinis are the most normal swimsuit and low-cut tops and short shorts are common in all stores across the nation. Seemingly the feeling of shame that Adam and Eve felt has diminished greatly or even completely disappeared from the modern mind. But let's look closer. Maybe it hasn't after all. Could there be a link to immodesty and a poor self image?
2. Maybe we are insecure because we are living outside of God's design?
Think about your own life as a young girl or woman. What are your thoughts when you look at yourself in the mirror? If I had to guess from my own life they would be something like this. "I don't want anyone to see _____" (fill in the blank). "My legs don't look as good as so-and-so's." In the end, most of our thoughts would come down to comparison and fear of judgment or rejection. We are insecure because of what people may think of us. When we look to men and their standards and thoughts we will always be disappointed. In the end, no matter how beautiful you are according to worldly standards you will age and the world, that once offered you the loudest praise, will turn it's back on you. When you can no longer meet it's requirements it will forsake you.
Now. here is my thought. What if we are insecure of what others might think of our bodies because they were never meant to see them in the first place? If our shorts covered our thighs we wouldn't have to worry about the cellulite on the back of our legs. If our breasts were covered the size and shape of them wouldn't matter nearly as much. If we weren't bombarded with the physical parts of others maybe we wouldn't be as judgmental of our own? What if accepting God's design to cover our sinful shame is the only way that we will ever be able to accept ourselves at all? We cannot rid ourselves of the sin on our own, so how could we ever rid ourselves of the shame?
Now I would like to share some of my own personal experience. I was trained as a child to protect my modesty. For a time the women in our family wore only skirts or dresses because we believed that to be the best way to preserve a modest and feminine outfit. When I agreed to marry Parker and the wedding drew near I began to grow afraid. I worried over whether he would accept my body the way that it was or if he would be disappointed in me. I knew that I would have no way of hiding things from him and that he would see me as I really was. In some ways that terrified me. Because he knew of my fear, Parker did his best to let me know that he would love me no matter what, and that even though my body wasn't perfect that he wanted me anyway.
Now having been married just over one month I can say that every insecurity I thought I would have has gone by the wayside. Parker's love and acceptance of me has made the transition so smooth and comfortable. I know that Parker loves me and will always be there for me. That I will never look back and regret choosing to marry him or look ahead at a future without him as long as we both live. Because of that, I can be completely comfortable with him. God has designed a man and wife to be able to enjoy each other fully so there will be no shame in the complete exposure that happens in a marriage.
3. How does this effect our self image though?
When we give our body to the world to see there is no way that we can prevent it from judging us. It does not know or love us and it's judgement is based solely on the external. The slightest imperfections will be noticed. If, on the other hand, we chose to live under the protection God has given us and clothe our body in modesty, only the one who loves us more than anything else on earth will ever see it, and he will think it beautiful beyond comparison.
To read more about my thoughts on modesty click here.
