The Love of God

    I feel as if I had just discover a gold mine! I am reading the book The Cross Centered Life by C. J. Mahaney for a class here at BBC and this chapter was on legalism. I have always struggled with legalism. For the longest time I trusted in my own works instead of the finished work of Jesus for my salvation, and it wasn't until I was 16 years old that I finally realized that by faith alone I could be saved. Even after I was saved though I still struggled with guilt and having a set of rules that I felt like I had to follow to be a "good" Christian.
    For some reason, I had always had a misunderstanding of what love is really like. I thought that you were perfectly justified in treating people differently by how they had treated you in the past. People had tried to explain to me that love is unconditional, but I never truly understood. THis even effected how I thought of God. Whenever I had sinned I would not want to pray, and if I did I would come with fear and trembling. At these times, my prayers were about how unworthy I was to come before him because of my sin. Now, don't get me wrong, I think we should have reverence when we come to God. My problem was that I only felt this way when I had broken a "rule". In essence I was saying that at other times I was worthy to come to him because of my good behavior.
    In the book, Mr. Mahaney discussed what legalism is. "Legalism is seeking to achieve forgiveness from God and justification before God by obedience to God." (pg. 112) That was my attitude exactly. I thought that I could some how make God happy with me by all the good things that I did. I also thought that he would not receive me if I in sin. He went on to explain though how, when we were saved we were declared righteous before God because of the work of Jesus. His righteousness was applied to us, and we were given access to the Father.
    Through reading this book I have come to see how wrong I was! God receives on the merit of Jesus Christ. Once we are his children, he always welcomes us with open arms when we come to him. His love is unconditional and will last forever! The truth and wonder of it is overwhelming to me right now. I can always come to him no matter what I have done. It reminds me of the words to one of my favorite hymns.

 

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

 

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

 

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

 

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky

Lessons in Missouri

    Well it is late but I thought I would post something so that my blog is not completely dead. :) I am busy and right now working on time management so that I can get done what needs to be done and not waste any of what God has given me. There are so many things that I am learning in my new home. Hopefully when I get to my California home (on December 14th!) I will be able to go more in depth but for right now an overview will have to do.
    First of all, the Lord is sufficient. He can and will fulfill the deepest longings of you heart in ways that are truly amazing. Being from home for the first time and not really having anyone to depend on at first, I had to learn that He is all I need. He is such a gracious God. He has guided me and shown me his love in ways to numerous to count. Everything, big or little, is under his control and he cares! There is nothing too small for his notice.
    Secondly, I am learning respect for authority. I am naturally very independently minded and the Lord is using both living with my Grandma and going to school to teach me a humble my spirit and to give up my own way. Even when there is nothing wrong with what I want to do, I need to always consider those around me and what would be most honoring to them. Sometimes it is so hard to submit myself to those in charge but I pray that God would use this time to refine me in that way and cultivate in me a Christ-like humility.
    Lastly, and less seriously, I am learning the ways of the mid-west. Words such as folk, supper, and ya"ll are slowly creeping in to my vocabulary as well as saying yes ma'am and no sir. I have mixed feelings about the expanded vocab. Sir and ma'am are alright but I don't really like "folk". A month in Cali should fix that though. ;)
    May the God of peace be with you all as you travel the path laid out for you! And just for Dad, I felt "Christmassy" for the first time today. :)

A Home Away From Home

    Well, it has been a while since my last post. Right now I am sitting in my new home in Willard Missouri. It is a small country town about 20 minutes outside of Springfield. I am living with a woman who is practically my grandmother and attending Baptist Bible College for a music education degree. I am so excited to be here and I know that the Lord has lead clearly to this place.
      I do not have much more to say but I miss everyone back home. It is amazing how much you can think in that half hour in bed before you go to sleep. I am grateful that God has given me such good friends back home and also for the friendships that are forming out here. Thanks for stopping by! I should have another post coming soon.

The Spanish Brothers

    Since I have been relieved of most of my responsibilities at home (getting ready for moving being all I have to do right now) I have had a lot more time to think and write, hence the frequent postings, ;) and yesterday I finished one of the best books of fiction ever penned. The Spanish Brothers by Deborah Alcock is not a widely available book  now. It was printed in the 1800's and is now only published by Lamplighter Publishing, but if you can possibly get your hands on it, do so and read it! I have never read a book that is at the same time so convicting, encouraging, enjoyable, and informative.
    The book traces the lives of two orphan brothers of the Spanish nobility from childhood to early manhood. When they are young, they find an inscription from there father's hand in one of the windows of their castle which said, " "El Dorado, Yo he` trovado." I have found El Dorado." They took it to mean that their father had literally found a city of gold and now lived in it waiting for them to come to him. They made it their life long aim to find the city and be reunited with their father at last.
    Through the course of time, as they grew up, each choose a profession because, though of noble birth, they were very poor. Carlos, the younger brother, was to be a Roman Catholic priest and Jaun a solider. Before Carlos actually entered the priesthood he was given a Spanish New Testament and became a believer in the true faith.
    The rest of the book goes on to detail the persecution of the church in Spain by the Inquisition and the lives of some of the most famous martyrs in Spain as they intertwine with they lives of the young men. In the end they discover that their father found the only true golden city, though not of this world, and both realized the preciousness of that city themselves.
    All through out the book the main theme is the sufficiency of Christ is all things. He was the sacrifice for our sins and he can completely satisfy us on earth, even through the most difficult of circumstances. Nothing can compare to the love wherewith he had loved us, and that should, in turn, awaken such a love in our hearts that can do "all things through Christ who strengthens me", for "the joy of the Lord is out strength". The love that the men and women in the book showed for Christ was so inspiring and their love for each other was scarcely less so. Of all the Christians put to torture only a very few could be brought to witness against their fellow believers. They endured all so as not to endanger each other or deny the Lord. When the time came for some to be burned they would encourage each other even to the stake.
    As I look back in history and see the way that the saints endured through good and bad, living and dying, hope and fear, I am greatly encouraged in my own walk with the Lord. He has proved himself faithful to all his servants in the past and he will remain faithful through all eternity to come. He had the power to keep his children through all trials either of mind or of body. God be praised for his wonderful goodness to the children of men!

"The personal love of Christ to you, felt, delighted in, returned, is factually, truly,

simply, without exaggeration, the deepest joy and the deepest feeling that the heart

of man or woman can know. It will absolutely satisfy your heart. It would satisfy

your heart if it were his will that you should spend the rest of your life alone in a 

dungeon."  The Spanish Brothers

    

Once Upon a Time

    Once upon a time, there was a little girl. Her name was Abigail, and she had spent her whole life in the clutches of a wicked man whom she called her master. No one knew who she was or where she had come from but all that seemed to matter now was her life of misery and sin. Abigail had never know the beauty and freedom of life. She had never looked for something better because she did not know that anything better existed. But this was all about to change.
    One day, when Abigail was of age to be married a splendid thing happened. At least, you and I would think it splendid, but Abigail was only scared, and a little cross.What happened was this; a beautiful white carriage drawn by six pure white horses pulled up in front of her and stopped. Out stepped a man who seemed old, yet his face was young. He looked right at Abigail who only glared back and gathered her shawl more closely about her. The man bowed respectfully, as a courtier would before and queen and delivered his message. 
    "The King has taken great delight in you, O favored one, and desires you to become the wife of his son. With your consent you will be taken to the capital to be made ready to be a bride."
    Abigail stood in scornful silence listening to the old man but not fully understanding what he said but knowing that she wanted nothing to do with any of it. When he concluded raucous laughter filled the air."What makes you think I want to marry your prince? I hate him! What does he care for me? Leave me."
    "As you wish" the man bowed, entered the carriage and rode away.
   That day wore on like all the others in her life and Abigail gave no thought to her mornings visitor. That evening, as the sun began to sink behind the western hills, to her surprise there came another messenger from the palace. This time it was only a common page but what he bore was truly marvelous. A bouquet of flowers, more beautiful than any you have ever seen. Their fragrance filled the air and the scent brought visions of splendid gardens, of which these flowers were only a small offering.
    Abigail tried to ignore the page but he, very respectfully, placed the flowers in her hand and said, "From your Prince. The best and fairest of the palace gardens." and then quietly walked away. The flowers were certainly very lovely, but they only made Abigail more angry. She flung them on the ground, where they were soon trampled, though the fragrance of the crushed blossoms remained for many hours.
   The next day the sun rose in a glory of color and cast a warm glow over all the earth. For the first time Abigail noticed the beauty of a summer morning when all is yet still; but as yet this was only a faint glimmer in her heart. She scarcely felt it herself, but a tiny smile formed on her lips in response.
    That day her master beat her unmercifully. Tears mixed with blood as she ran from the house, fleeing her cruel master. She had not gone far when she ran against another messenger. This time is was a shy little girl who said nothing, merely handing her a thick letter before skipping away. Abigail, curious as to what the letter might say, opened it cautiously and began to read.
    Inside, addressed to her, were the most beautiful words ever written. This prince, whom she had rejected so angrily, expressed great love and constancy, praising her beauty and speaking of his great desires to marry her. Light began to show on her face, but then, doubt entered. This could not be for her. She, whom everyone else despised, was not worthy of such love. There must be some mistake. Slowly, she folded the letter and pressed it to her bosom. Nothing could ever change now, but she wished she had not answered the old man so harshly.
    Day after day, more messengers came to Abigail, all bringing with them some token of the Prince's love. Slowly, with many days of doubt and grief, Abigail began to believe that all was true. Maybe, just maybe, she was loved. There was hope for an escape from this bondage that she lived in; which was now odious beyond comparison in her eyes. She began to wait for the love-tokens with great anticipation and to think of the Prince all through the day.
    Finally, she decided. Tonight she would flee her master and go to this man. She could not live away from him any longer. She was her beloveds and her beloved was hers.
    As the sun set and darkness filled the house, Abigail trembled with anticipation. She lay in bed waiting for all to be still. Quietly, she rose, and crept down the stairs. Only one more hallway and the door and she would be free. Free forever from this horrid place and her cruel master. Free also to serve in love the new master that awaited her. 
    There, she stood before the door and listened again for any sound that she had been betrayed. She reached out her hand for the door. Just as she touched the knob, another hand reached from behind, gripped her shoulder and spun her around.
    "So, you thought you were going to escape did you?" Her master's fingers bite into her shoulder as he leaned forward and leered into her face. "Never! You will never be free. Do you think that I have been blind to all these "King's messengers" coming to you? And you, only biding your time until you could escape. Well, it is over. Get back to your room and never let me catch you at such tricks again!"
    He shoved Abigail away from him and she fell heavily against the stairs. Her master came towards her and as she began to lose consciousness she cried out, "Oh my Lord, my Prince! If you ever loved me, help me now! Save me in my distress".
    Hardly had the words passed her lips when a noise was heard, as of distant thunder. Quickly it came nearer and her master stopped to listen. Then, knowing his time to be short, he rushed on Abigail and began to beat her cruelly.
    Suddenly, the door was flung wide open and a man, more beautiful, more terrible, and more wonderful than anything Abigail had ever imagined stood in the doorway. As he entered, her master stopped beating her but still grasped her by the arm. Rage and terror were mingled in his face as he looked at the Prince. 
    "Let go your hold on that woman!" The man's voice thundered through the house. "She is no longer under your authority and you have no right to touch her." Abigail's former master was now past all reason. With hatred in his eyes he rushed at the Prince. In one swift movement the Prince drew his sword and the cruel tyrant lay dead at his feet.
    Turning from the dead man, the Prince knelt beside Abigail and gathered her tenderly in his arms. Abigail smiled faintly as she looked into his face, a moment ago so terrible, and now with such a gentle, loving look. "You came" she whispered.
    "Yes, my darling, I came. But more must be done if you are to live. Take my hand. Your dead master beat you nearly to death and only new life will restore you."
    Not quite understanding, Abigail took his hand and immediately felt  life flowing through it into her. Life such as she had never experienced before coursed through her veins. Vibrant, joyous and pure it swelled in her and made her wish to sing and dance. She rose to her feet and turned to look at her Lord.
    What she saw made her heart stop beating. The Prince seemed suddenly weak and pale. He leaned against the wall and made no effort to rise. She sprang to his side and lowered his head into her lap. "My beloved, my darling, what is wrong?" Frantically she tried to revive him, but is was already too late. He smiled one last smile into her eyes and lay dead before her.
    Abigail bent over him and cried tears such as she had never cried before. They burned her face as they fell and did not relieve the great sorrow that now overwhelmed her heart. Just as she realized how precious to her the Prince was, he was dead. Because of her. He had died in her stead. Her tears ceased and for two days all was still.
    On the third morning, a small breath of air touched Abigail's face. She stirred and saw the sun just beginning to peek over the mountains. Diamonds seemed to sparkle in the grass as the dew reflected the light. The shadows grew short and then disappeared as the sun rose above the mountains and flooded the valley with light.
    Despite the great sadness in her, the new life in Abigail stirred in response to such beauty. Gently, she rested the Prince and the ground and then rose and walked to the door. Far in the distance she discerned movement along the road. As it came closer she saw that it was a carriage, and with wonder recognized the very carriage that had brought the old man with the first message long ago.
    The carriage pulled to a stop in front of Abigail and the old man alighted. "Peace be unto you, my lady. Your waiting and sorrowing are over. Enter into the joy of the Lord."
    "But Sir, how can I enter into that joy when my Lord lies dead?"
    "Turn and look!"
    Abigail turned and, wonder of wonders! before her stood the Prince. Strong and terrible as before but with such a light in his eyes as nearly dazzled her. She stood, lost in wonder and amazement while the old man spoke again. 
    "He had fulfilled the will of his father the King. He has chosen and redeemed a bride for himself and shall now receive the kingdom. Come, the marriage supper is ready. Enter into the joy of the Lord!"

Introductions

    Recently I have been both encouraged and convicted by two blogs that I just came across. They are written by a sister and brother; Sarah and Joel Clarkson (children of author and speaker Sally Clarkson). A friend of mine posted a link to Sarah's blog about three weeks ago and I really enjoyed what I read so I subscribed to the blog and have not been disappointed. Her passion for living out every area of life for the Lord is truly inspiring while the beauty that is expressed is wonderful. Joel is not currently posting on his blog, but I have been reading his archives and all I can say is, wow. His love for the Lord is infectious. I would highly encourage you to take a look at these blogs. They have encouraged me so much as I hope that they will you.

Thoughts on Modesty

     There seems to be a predominate belief among Christian women that we need to dress modestly because immodesty can cause our brothers in Christ to stumble. The standard seems to be "would this outfit incite lustful thoughts in men" and while this is fine as far as it goes I believe that we need to dig a little deeper to find out the true reason that we are called to be modest.
     In the Garden of Eden, Genesis 2:25 tells "And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed". (NASB) Without sin there was no need for shame of any kind. Everything God made was good and beautiful, including the human form. Genesis 3 though goes on to tell us how Adam and Eve sinned by eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The first recorded effect of their sin is recorded in verse 7. "Then the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings." Genesis 3:7 (NASB)

      Now, if modesty's goal is to keep men from lust there would have been no need for modesty between Adam and Eve. Men are allowed to desire and behold their wives physical bodies, so there was no shame in the fact that Eve was naked before him. Despite this, God gave Adam and Eve clothes to cover their shame. Why, then, were they ashamed?

     This is, I believe, where we are to find the main reason for modesty. Adam and Eve were corrupted in their very nature when they ate of the tree; their very essence was now sinful. They required covering for their souls which was provided by Christ's blood many thousands of years later, but the physical expression of their nature, their sexuality, had to be covered by clothing. This means that even if there was no danger of any man every having lustful thoughts we as women would still have a responsibility to dress and behave modestly. 

    This is also why it is so important to dress femininely as well as modestly. We still need to express the nature that has been given us by the Father, while concealing the shame invoked by the fall.

     In conclusion then, we as women have a responsibility to dress modestly because of the shame of our sinful natures. The covering of our bodies is a picture of Christ's blood covering our sin and should not be lightly thrown aside. It brings God glory when we accept the covering he has given us and live in light of his mercy. I do believe that when women dress modestly, it helps keep men from sin. I would also encourage us all to keep our focus where it should be, on Christ and his purpose for our lives.                                                                           

Fourth of July Weekend

    This Fourth of July was such a blessing! In it we found out that you never really appreciate what you have until you don't have it any more. We had two full days at home with the family. Jordan and Nicole still were not here but everyone that lives at home was and it was so good to not have anyone be working or going anywhere and just to enjoy some family time.

Since it has been so hot recently (105 plus) we got a little pool to cool off in. I think the little kids have been in it every day.

On the 4th Chris, Sarah and Erin played legos most of the day. It reminds me of when Jordan and I would dump them all out in the living room and play for hours. (btw do you think it is possible for 11 year old boys to make normal faces for pictures?)

Shauna made this beautiful (and delicious!) cake for the 4th

On Saturday, Raylene, Shauna, Chris and I were able to go to Huntington lake to what Micheal and Tim Smith race their Day Sailer for the first time. 

Lining up at the start!



While we watched the race I took some pictures of the waves. I could watch the water all day long.



Raylene, watching for the sailors.



The result of the day. Three very sunburned girls! Our legs and necks got it the worst as you can see.



Psalm 32

Psalm 32

A Psalm of David, Maschil.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,

whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord 

imputeth not iniquity,

and in whose spirit there is no guile.

When I kept silence, my bones waxed old

through my roaring all the day long.

For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me:

my moisture is turned into drought in summer. Selah.

I acknowledged my sin unto thee, 

and mine iniquity have I not hide. 

I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord;

and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.

For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee

in a time when thou mayest be found:

surley in the floods of great waters

they shall not come nigh unto him.

Thou art my hiding place; 

thou shalt preserve me from trouble; 

thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.

I will instruct thee and teach thee

in the way which thou shalt go: 

I will guide thee with mine eye.

Be ye not as the horse,

or as the mule,

which have no understanding:

whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle,

lest they come near unto thee.

Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: 

but he that trusteth in the Lord, 

mercy shall compass him about.

Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous:

and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.

The Merry Month of May

This month was quite busy. Mom, Shauna, and Kendra went to Missouri for two weeks to help out at a wedding and also visit some family. Those of us that we left at home had a lot to keep us busy with blackberry picking, drying cherries, and running the house without Mom. Thankfully, everyone is now safe and sound back home with all the business that comes with being at home.



Sarah had been teaching herself to play the piano recently. She is doing extremly well and already is reading lines in the treble cleft.



Chris, helping me make dinner while Mom was gone.  

Manners class! I thought I would be fun to get all dressed up so we had lady and gentleman lessons.



Getting ready for Mom and the girls to come home!




It has been so nice to have Jordan home for a whole month. That is the longest he has been home is so long.
He has been catching up and all the man work while he was here. :)



 

Our baby is 7! Audra's birthday was at the end of this month and we celebrated with strawberry shortcake.

 

Shauna and Kendra teaching us the "Cotton eyed Joe".  Different than our normal dancing but SO fun!

 

Odds and Ends



Our first really good harvest from out strawberries.
They taste so good! Maybe next year we will have
enough to preserve some.

  Life is busy and so good! The Lord is so faithful and kind to His children. The verse that has been coming to mind recently is " He sendeth rain on the just and the unjust" because of the rain we have been getting so late in the season, for California. The garden is growing and the the cow is keeping us busy with the milk she is providing. So far we have made butter, cottage cheese and Caso Blanco.
    Right now we are preparing for Mom, Shauna, and Kendra to leave for Missouri for a friends wedding. They will be gone for two week, and since Raylene will be working most of those days, we will see how prepared I am to run a house. :)


I took these a while ago but couldn't resist posting them





Playing outside when the weather first got warm.

 
 

The first batch of butter I tried. It is still turning out a little to soft.

There will be more coming as I try to remember to take more pictures. :)