Growing Daily

     

       Right now Parker and I are in a very transitional time in our lives and our marriage. As we approach our one year anniversary many questions have come up and have had to be answered such as, where will we live, what is our plan for careers, when should we start a family, also, how can we serve the Lord right now? With so many answers waiting to be discovered it can be tempting to think that life is on hold, that some how we are in a waiting period that can be frittered or wished away.

       Recently though, the Lord has been showing me that there is never a time when you are not waiting for something. When you are a child you want to be grown up, when you get older you desire a relationship or a career. Once you are married you wait for children and then for those children to grow and the cycle continues for another generation. As important as it is to plan for the future, we cannot let our anticipation of what is to come steal the joy of what our God is doing in the moment. These are some questions that I am considering in my own life and hopefully they can be an encouragement to you as well. :)

How am I growing in the Lord today?

       It is so easy to think that we will have time for God later on and push off spending time in the word and in prayer every day. Our relationship with Christ has to be ongoing and personal. If we begin to put off our daily communication we will have less and less of a desire to grow and will be useless and ineffective in the lives of those around us. We need to take specific steps everyday to learn more of our Savior and become more like him. 

       Something specific to consider is getting an accountability partner. The Christian life was meant to be lived in community with the local church. The encouragement and accountability that we can receive from one another is invaluable. Seek someone out who is serious about growing in their faith and set up time to meet with them and check bases on your spiritual life. That way you can mutually encourage each other and see God work in both of your lives. 

How can I show the gospel to those around me today?

       In our busy lives it is so easy to get distracted from sharing the gospel with those around us. We go through our days coming in contact with so many people and never once think to share the good news inside of us. We need to make sure that the life we are living is consistent with the work that Christ has done for us so that the world around us can see the effect of the gospel in our lives. So many people are looking for answers to life's hard questions and we can show them the truth! When our lives are truly changed they will see the difference and be more willing to listen when we speak of our risen King. 

       Without a plan it is hard to change so come up with specific ways that you can show the gospel. For myself, people at work comment on my cheerful personality, Instead of taking to compliment for myself, I am trying to turn it into an opportunity to explain that I have hope in this life and the life to come so I can have true joy no matter what the circumstances. 

How can I love my neighbor? 

       This is perhaps the easiest and hardest part of every day Christian living. For me, how can I show love to my husband has proved to be much harder question to answer then I first anticipated. True love is directly opposed to our human nature. Our selfishness is always creeping in and tempting us to put ourselves first. To daily die to self and make the needs and desires of those around us a top priority will be a continual struggle all of our live, but what are we doing about it today? As we grow closer to Christ and become more like him he will give us the ability and desire to truly love our neighbor. 

       

       These are things that I have been considering for myself and I hope they can be an encouragement to you all in whatever stage of waiting you are in. Ultimately our waiting will only be over when Christ returns set all things to rights. May we never lose sight of our eternal home as we travel through this temporary life. 

It's Not You it's Me; Taking Responsibility in Conflict

       We have all heard the classic break up line either directed to us or just in a story. Someone grows tired in a relationship and for one reason or another decides to end it, but in order to soften the blow they try to take some of the blame by saying, "it's not you, it's me." I wonder how often people really mean that? Are we really shouldering responsibility for our actions or our we simply trying to make the other person feel better? In my recent marriage to a great, godly man I have found that there can be a place for that phrase that instead of breaking off relationship can bring healing in the wake of conflict.
       Growing up, my mom had many books on Christian marriage and how to be a good wife lying around the house. I read many of those books and assumed that I was now a marriage expert. (Now I laugh when I think of how naive that thought was ;)). I thought that Parker and I would sail through at least the first 6 months of our marriage without a single conflict because I would graciously submit to his every wish and he would bring home flowers every night because I was such a wonderful wife. To my great surprise, not 6 months or even six days into our marriage we had our first conflict; not necessarily what you would call a fight but a rupture in the smooth tranquility that was to be my life. I was shocked! How could this be!!! I knew all the right things and had all the right training, there must be something wrong. In my pride I immediately assumed that the problem must be my new husband.
       Because I thought the problem must be originating with my husband I began to look for character flaws in him that would create conflict. First I thought, he must never apologize, that's why I'm always upset with him. After this thought I began to watch and to my disbelief, without fail, after ever misunderstanding he would take responsibility for his share and ask my forgiveness. Still not getting it, I looked for other things that would cause my "righteous" indignation. Unfortunately, when you look for problems you are eventually going to find something. I began nit picking at my husband, crying at every little thing, and over all feeling very abused. Looking back on my selfishness of those months makes be blush with shame. I would over look so many good, kind things he did for me because I was too busy nursing my wounds over imaginary injuries.
       In the summer months we began to go through some transition in our marriage involving looking for a new church home. Just over a month ago we began attending a church that has become such a blessing in so many ways and one of the main things it has convicted me of was looking at my life as if I was the victim. Instead of seeing how Jesus was using my life situations to make me more like himself I would pout and cry about how much I had to put up with. As I began to look outward instead of inward I realized just how blind I had become. One day I was in the kitchen making lunch and Parker came in and folded me into his arms and just held me for a moment. At that exact time it hit me. He was not the one who had changed in our marriage. He was the same loving man I had fallen in love with the year before while we were dating. All of the time that I thought he was causing the conflict in our marriage I had completely forgotten to account for the unrealistic expectations and pride in my own heart. Conviction and repentance hit me as I realized my mistake. I tried to mumble out an explanation to Parker through my tears but I'm not sure how well that worked. ;)
       Now that we were both willing to take responsibility for our own actions, conflict had dropped too a mere ruffle that is quickly subdued instead of the days long affairs of the past. I am not saying that we are doing this perfect or that we will never have a fight again. What I am saying is that when we are both willing to say "it's me, I did wrong," with God's help, things cannot get out of hand. God has been so gracious to us as we seek him in these early stages of our marriage by showing us this. What if in every relationship we were able to humbly admit when we were wrong and seek true reconciliation? What if the most classic break up line in history were to be used instead as one of the biggest means of healing broken relationship? Well I would say that was just another example of God turning to world upside down as his people choose to do his will.

Why We Shouldn't be Trying to Live in the Past

       I would like to discuss an attitude I see in some of Christianity today. Especially among so coined conservative Christianity we tend to idealize the past and think that the American nation of the late 1800's was a close to perfection as anything can get in this life. We think our Christian roots as a nation were the reason the people experiences such prosperity, and that if we could return to that way of life we would have accomplished much in this life. This attitude has several flaws in it that need to be addressed if we are to fully glorify God and live life here where he has placed us.

1. There is no such thing as a Christian nation.

       Christianity is a personal thing. Your family is not a Christian family just because the parents are saved and the nation is not a Christian nation just because there are Christians in it. Every person has to make a decision to follow Christ on their own and no amount of association with the right people will make you a child of God. Being a moral nation does not make you Christian. The only thing that makes you Christian is following Jesus, and that can only be done one person at a time.
      The only nation God has every called his own and used as a beacon of his truth to the world is Israel. Every other nation will rise and fall with time and each will be used by God in his providence but none are his representative in the world. Christianity is not bound by cultural or economic diversity. It crosses all boundaries and can be integrated into any culture. That is one of the beauties of following Christ. You can go anywhere in the world and see believers serving and worshiping God in many different ways and as long as they follow His word, they are all acceptable to him. No one nation has a corner on the truth that makes them better in how they worship God. He gives us freedom to use our differences to worship Him in many different ways.
       America has had a past of some morality and has in it many Christian people. It has given us the freedom to serve God according to our conscience but it is not a Christian nation. If America falls, Christianity will continue, just as it thrived in the past before America was a nation.

2. Christianity is not about morals; it's about Jesus. 

       As I said earlier, Christianity is accepting Jesus as your personal Savior. Once you have done that you are required, as a child of God, to live your life according to the morals and rules that God has established in His word. This shows the truth of your profession of faith in Him because faith without works is dead, but this principle cannot be reversed. Just because you live a good life, tell the truth, love your family, and help the poor doesn't mean you are saved. Salvation is found in Jesus alone; in denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following him.
       Christians need to be seeking one thing and one thing only, and that is Jesus Christ. The past does not have the answers to the problems we face in the world today; Jesus does. Going back to a time when a higher moral standard was culturally accepted will not make the pain of life any less or the path that we should walk any clearer. The only way we can be sure we are walking the right road is by making much of the Lord who saved us.

3. Trying to reform the world is not the duty of the Christian.
     
       The bible tells us that ever since the fall of man the world has been decaying. In the New Testament we are told that sin is going to continue to increase in the time that we live in until it culminates in God totally destroying the world because of it's great wickedness. To try to preserve a dying world is not where our calling lies. We are called to tell others of a better land that will not fade away and where there is no more sin. No matter how hard we try we will not be able to turn back the clock and see a better day. Our hope lies in the future when Jesus will return and set everything to rights.
       Trying to recreate a time when Christian morals were in vogue and liberty abounded should not be our goal. We need to seek out the lost, spread the message of the gospel, and bring as much glory to God as we can in this life. Creating a Christian utopia is not our job. Jesus will set up his kingdom when he comes but until then our kingdom is not of this world.

4. Finally, God never calls us to live in the past.

       The apostle Paul in the epistle to the Philippians say that he did not focus on what was behind but that he pressed on towards the high calling of Jesus Christ. God's will for us is not in the past. As much as we might wish to, we cannot change what has been done or get back to what we miss. God wants us to travel ever further into his love and seek him a new every morning. If we are constantly looking behind us we cannot see what God has for us today. Our Father can answer the hard questions of our times and show us the way that we should deal with the difficult experiences we have, but we have to seek him in the present. He will show us the way, step by step.


       In conclusion, even if we were to return to the glory days of America and were to have more freedom in our country, we would still be lacking in the most important thing. We don't need to get back to the glory days, we need to get back to Jesus. No amount of human freedom will change the heart of man. Conversely, Christianity has thrived most in times of greatest persecution. Maybe by seeking freedom of body instead of purity of heart we have misplaced our priorities. The few years we have in this life matter very little compared to the eternity that is set before us. The best thing we can do in this life is to give it up for Jesus in service of him and others. Nothing of this earth will last, but all that is done in His name and for His glory will be gold and silver and precious stones in the kingdom that is waiting for those who put their trust in him.

The Difference of Perspective

      Let's just say I did not have the best attitude at work that day... I had been put in my least favorite position and I was closing. Dining room is not a difficult job, but to me it's somewhat mind numbing and boring. Oh well, I guess I would just chalk it up as one of those days. One of my tasks was to clean the glass around the store so I was kneeling by the main entrance with my window cleaner and newspaper in hand. An elderly lady walked through the door and smiled. "You're making you're windows pretty." Making you're windows pretty. That was all she said but what a difference it made! Instead of cleaning the windows or just doing my job, it now seemed as if the job had purpose and meaning.
      Our words are such a representation of our hearts. Just as Jesus taught us, out of the heart the mouth speaks. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the repetition of a duty or our distaste for it and have that turn our attitudes sour. What if when we cleaned our houses we didn't think "I can't believe I have to do this again, won't the kids/my husband ever learn to pick up after themselves," but instead "I am grateful to have kids/my husband to make messes and that I have to opportunity to serve them by making this a beautiful home to live in." Wouldn't that change our attitudes about it??
       I have only been married for three months and I know that sometimes the house work can pile up so high it looks like it will never be clean again. I can't imagine how difficult it would be with children! Sometimes I just can't find the motivation to do the dishes, or the laundry, or anything else. Sometimes Netflix, or my phone, or my social life just seems so appealing compared with all the "chores" that are lined up. But ladies, listen. We get the chance to make a home for our families! We get to take care of the house that God and our husbands provide and make it beautiful and welcoming to all the come in. We have to opportunity to make our house a place of refuge for the broken, a house of healing for the weak, and a haven from the world for our husbands and children. If we could catch that wonderful vision of what housekeeping really is, what a joy it would be!
       We can create an atmosphere in our homes of peace, rest, and joy by doing the little things that are distasteful and the big things that are noticed. When your house is neat and tidy you can welcome that new family at church to come home for lunch with you without a twinge of what they will see when they walk in. When your own laundry is done you can go help the young mother who is so overwhelmed she doesn't even know where to start. When your meals are planned and prepared you can take one to the grieving family who just lost a loved one. What a difference it makes when we look at our responsibilities with an eternal perspective and see what we  can accomplish for the kingdom of God in the day to day tasks. Every diaper has a meaning; every dish has a purpose. Aren't we blessed to be able to take part in it?!
       I know it's difficult and sometimes discouraging but let's start again with a fresh heart. Let's look at everything as an opportunity instead of a task. Let's make our windows pretty.

Modesty and Self Image

       So maybe I haven't been as faithful about this whole blogging thing as I had hoped I might be... between working, house keeping, and spending time with Parker I don't get much else done. Right now though I want to take the time to write about something that has been on my heart for a few weeks. I haven't done any extensive research into this but I want to put out my personal observations and see what you think.
       In our culture there seems to be a growing amount of care given to self image. Everywhere girls are comparing themselves to actresses and models and trying to be like someone (something) that in most cases is not even real, and if it is real it isn't healthy or normal. Many girls and women look at themselves in the mirror and are embarrassed or disappointed, never being able to accept the way they are. Before you jump to conclusions, I am not going to go off and say that we just need to learn to accept ourselves and then every thing will be alright. A good self image is not about thinking only good thoughts about ourselves. A good self image is a correct self image. As a Christian, my definition of correct must be defined by God through his word. Therefore I want to bring up a few things that we all might need to consider.

1. What does God's word tell us about our self? 

        The Bible tells us that we are sinners. Sinners can be gloriously redeemed by the blood of Jesus, but the world has been changed by the fall. Before the fall of man that is detailed in Genesis 3, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed (Gen. 2.25), but because of sin, shame entered the world. At the end of chapter three, God gave Adam and his wife clothes to cover their nakedness and remove the feeling of shame. In America we see an increasing amount of skin showing on girls and women of all ages. Bikinis are the most normal swimsuit and low-cut tops and short shorts are common in all stores across the nation. Seemingly the feeling of shame that Adam and Eve felt has diminished greatly or even completely disappeared from the modern mind. But let's look closer. Maybe it hasn't after all. Could there be a link to immodesty and a poor self image?

2. Maybe we are insecure because we are living outside of God's design?

        Think about your own life as a young girl or woman. What are your thoughts when you look at yourself in the mirror? If I had to guess from my own life they would be something like this. "I don't want anyone to see _____" (fill in the blank). "My legs don't look as good as so-and-so's." In the end, most of our thoughts would come down to comparison and fear of judgment or rejection.  We are insecure because of what people may think of us. When we look to men and their standards and thoughts we will always be disappointed. In the end, no matter how beautiful you are according to worldly standards you will age and the world, that once offered you the loudest praise, will turn it's back on you. When you can no longer meet it's requirements it will forsake you.

       Now. here is my thought. What if we are insecure of what others might think of our bodies because they were never meant to see them in the first place? If our shorts covered our thighs we wouldn't have to worry about the cellulite on the back of our legs. If our breasts were covered the size and shape of them wouldn't matter nearly as much. If we weren't bombarded with the physical parts of others maybe we wouldn't be as judgmental of our own? What if accepting God's design to cover our sinful shame is the only way that we will ever be able to accept ourselves at all? We cannot rid ourselves of the sin on our own, so how could we ever rid ourselves of the shame? 

       Now I would like to share some of my own personal experience. I was trained as a child to protect my modesty. For a time the women in our family wore only skirts or dresses because we believed that to be the best way to preserve a modest and feminine outfit. When I agreed to marry Parker and the wedding drew near I began to grow afraid. I worried over whether he would accept my body the way that it was or if he would be disappointed in me. I knew that I would have no way of hiding things from him and that he would see me as I really was. In some ways that terrified me. Because he knew of my fear, Parker did his best to let me know that he would love me no matter what, and that even though my body wasn't perfect that he wanted me anyway.
      Now having been married just over one month I can say that every insecurity I thought I would have has gone by the wayside. Parker's love and acceptance of me has made the transition so smooth and comfortable. I know that Parker loves me and will always be there for me. That I will never look back and regret choosing to marry him or look ahead at a future without him as long as we both live. Because of that, I can be completely comfortable with him. God has designed a man and wife to be able to enjoy each other fully so there will be no shame in the complete exposure that happens in a marriage.

3. How does this effect our self image though?

       This is what first made me start thinking about how our self image is not so much about if we look perfect but about doing it God's way. Without the sanction of God and the love of Parker there would be so many fears and doubts in my mind. I would have nothing to comfort myself with when I thought that maybe I wasn't good enough or couldn't satisfy Parker. Whenever I do have any doubt at all, I can have confidence that before God I have not sinned and that Parker and I are free to enjoy each other as he designed. In life though, we see so many women exposing themselves to the criticism of man without the protection of love. Not only are they at odds with the world they are trying to appease, but they also have to deal with a defiled conscience before God.
       When we give our body to the world to see there is no way that we can prevent it from judging us. It does not know or love us and it's judgement is based solely on the external. The slightest imperfections will be noticed. If, on the other hand, we chose to live under the protection God has given us and clothe our body in modesty, only the one who loves us more than anything else on earth will ever see it, and he will think it beautiful beyond comparison.

To read more about my thoughts on modesty click here.

  

I'm Back!!

     My blog has been nonexistent for the last several months but I think I am ready to revive it. Ideas for posts are brimming in my brain and I feel the urge to write again. It will probably be a slow process getting them all down but I would love for you all to comment and keep the discussions going on the posts. What I will be posting are my thoughts on issues and I would love to hear your perspective on things.

     For this post I am just going to give an update on life and where I am now. On December 13th of this year I married Parker Koons. He is a wonderful, godly man and I am so happy to be his wife! Our journey together has been shorter than some (we dated only six months), but God has blessed it through all the ups and downs, mistakes and victories. I am so excited to see where God is going to take our marriage! It is going to be a wild ride of adventure with so much to learn, but our pray is that God would use us greatly to impact the culture around us for him. With that as our goal it should never be boring!

      We are currently residing in a small college town in the Midwest. He will be continuing his education seeking a pastoral degree and we will be working towards me being able to come home to work. Hopefully I will be able to get him to contribute to this blog as well. :)

      There will be another post soon, probably over the weekend. I hope that you all had a merry Christmas and that God will bless your new year as you seek his face and long to know him better. Thanks for stopping by!
 

Christians and Music

       Music is a big topic in the church these days. There is a constant debate as to whether we should sing Contemporary or Traditional songs, how much we should keep up with the modern trends, and how to keep everyone happy while doing whatever it is we decide to do. Because it is so controversial, music has even divided the church into several distinct camps that are each sure they are right and are not willing to compromise. While I know that all sides of the issue have valid points and that it is nearly impossible to give the right answer in this situation, I would like to suggest that the problem of what music we sing in our churches goes deeper than whether or not we like drums. I believe that it starts with a philosophy of life that will change our perspective on why we use music in the first place. The fact the we are created in the image of God.
      Genesis 1:27 say that "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (English Standard Vers.). Being made in the image of God means that we have similar attributes, character, and desires as him on a finite scale. We are supposed to be able to represent God in every way. The Fall of Man in Genesis three made us imperfect representations of him. Now all those areas where we were like God have been twisted and perverted because of sin. But, when a person accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord they are given a new heart and the ability to be like Christ, the second figure in the god head. It is therefore our responsibility as Christians to seek to accurately represent God in every part of his character.
      Now, you are probably wondering what this has to do with music. God is a creative god. When he made the world he infused it with colors and sounds, scents and textures, all different and all beautiful. When he made us in his image he intended for us to be a creative people. We can use every area of life to bring honor and glory to God from going to church to painting a picture. This includes music. God created music and meant  for it to be used for worship of him through both the text and the accompaniment. The beauty and harmony of "The Four Season" by Vivaldi can bring just as much glory to God as the hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness." The only requirement is that it be done with an attitude of humility and service with a recognition of our complete dependence on God.
      To apply this to our modern situation, I think a misunderstanding of this principle has made Christians in the past reluctant to enter the field of music apart from writing specifically "Christian" songs. Because of this, the secular world has been the only influence on new developments in the world of music. New styles and genres were introduced my non-Christians and were therefore thought of as "worldly", when in fact, they were only different. The word of God commands us to sing a new song to the Lord and to not endlessly repeat the same thing in our communication with God. This is not to say that we can never sing the same song twice, but we need to be careful not to do the same thing all the time our of tradition. Christians should be in the very front of discovery and development of music because as reflections of a great God our creativity should know no bounds in this regards.
       To clarify, I want to say that while a song does not have to have Christian lyrics to glorify God, if the words of a song are against the teaching of God's word then there should be no place for it in our lives. Music can be corrupted by sin so we still need to have discernment when deciding what influences to let into our lives.
       This video by Jeff Bethke speaks to the same topic and would be well worth your time to watch.

      In conclusion I would just like to say that Christ desires unity in his church. He gave his blood to unite a people for himself to serve and worship him through all eternity, so when we use music as an issue of division in our lives we have put it on the level of an idol. We are all going to have to give up our own desires in this as we humbly seek after the truth, but if we seek, above all else, to honor God with what we are doing we cannot go far wrong.